Homer’s Last Meals Before His Diet


*Normal Nuclear Power Plant bird noise* Come on, Mr Burns. Keep moving! We we can’t leave work until you do ;–; Awh no, he’s talking to that mail room guy Hope he’s not telling that stupid story about hand gliding, again *Mail Room guy showing off his hand gliding skills* AWWWWHHHWHH *Picks up phone and dials* Listen Carefully, I’ve taken your wife hostage, if you don’t have a wife, I’ve kidnapped your brother. Nod if you understand *Nods* Now back away from Burns and I’ll let your dog live *Backs away slowly* Goooooood now stop and dance like a happy prospector *Dancing skills activating* Happier *Dancing skills increase* HAPPIER *DANCING SKILLS GOING THROUGH THE ROOF* Happier *Dancing skills going higher than the roofs* Homer, we wanna get him AWAY from Burns OH, RIGHT JUST LEAVE AND KICK LIKE A ROCKETTE *kicking like a Rockette* *Burns not even caring* *Car Noises* WOOHOO WE’RE FREE! EMPTY APARTMENT HERE I COME! Set the table, Marge! I can already taste those deep fried Pork Chops Dont you remember what today is? Oooh when you ask me that it’s never good>:( It’s the first of the month! The day you promised to start your new diet *Homer crying noises* I’m just really worried about your weight ;( Bart says we got a call from NASA and your gravity is pulling Satellites out of their orbit! Marge, that was a joke -.- But it comes from a true place Awwh Well, if I am gonna start a diet, this is my last chance to eat all the crap I love *Homer taking his time driving* I think I will miss you most of all Caption Corn dog Schnitzel Palace No tears, Homer ;–; *Car goes too fast too furious* *Workers wishing they were in Jail* *Homer eating a sandwich given by the gods* Oh look a regular normal pizza, nothing weird could go wrong- Or y’know you could just do that That…..really looks….delightful I think ordering some CoCa Cola would of been good enough Ayeeee look it’s our good ol’ friend Krusty the Krab #KrustyTheKrab Ah oh Can’t let Marge see this *Magical Rubbish can appears out of nowhere, to save the day* Thank you! *Inhale* A drive up trash can! :O This must be how the rich feel when they toss out their gold As long as I’m cleaning up the family chariot Cups Newspapers Bottles *In a fabulous voice* Tricycle Lawn Chair Uncashed Checks Hmm>:( Dispose of proper- *Gives up* Awwh. This book is too hard>:( *Dramatic music telling you something is about to go dowwwn* Now, for a victory cigar! *Opens that Homer made Jack-Ass Homer Cigars* *Lights it up* *Throws the match into the trash can Thank you! *More dramatic music to tell you something is going to go downer than down* *BOOM EXPLOSION* *BOOM A SECOND EXPLOSION* *Homer driving like those screaming people don’t exist* *More explosions happen while Homer doesn’t hear or care* *Volcanic explosion* *Moleman* “Oh look a nice free pizza dough, nothing could go wrong” *Moleman was assassinated* *Lard Lad dies* *Don’t smoke and drive or else that’s what happens* The calamity in our fast food district destroyed 37 restaurants rated awful to mediocre And put these beloved mascots out on the street *Crying Hamburger, ;—;-p-; Nobody likes a crying hamburger3* I told myself I’d stay strong (Don’t worry Mr Hamburger man thing, we love you:( Where the chairs aren’t attached to the tables And where I can’t ditch my kids in a pit of dirty balls I say we rebuild the fast food district BIGGER AND BETTER THAN EVER! Yay woo *Cheering noises* To raise the money we’ll need a bond issue But won’t that shift the burden to your children? No, you idiot we just pay for it, with another bond issue Let her figure it out something to dump it on *Maggie is mad>:(* Then it’s decided *Bang* Bond issue will be part of our next schedule election The Springfield presidential primary But that’s not until next June!! In that case I hear by move the election up to next Tuesday! *Bang* YAY WOOOO *CHEERING NOISES* That means, Springfield presidential primary will be first in the nation even earlier than New Hampshire! Ah Oh! They’re gonna be cheesed! *Nervous laugh* *Slaps self with a pickle* THE END!

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